Sri Aurobindo's Consciousness

29th February, 1956: FIRST SUPRAMENTAL MANIFESTATION: (During the common meditation on Wednesday, the 29th February, 1956 at Ashram Playground)
            "This evening the Divine Presence, concrete and material, was there present amongst you. I had a form of living gold, bigger than the universe, and I was facing a huge and massive golden door which separated the world from the Divine.
            As I looked at the door, I knew and willed, in a single movement of consciousness, that ‘THE TIME HAS COME’, and lifting with both hands a mighty golden hammer I struck one below, one single blow on the door and the door was shattered to pieces.
            Then the Supramental Light and Force and Consciousness rushed down upon earth in an uninterrupted flow."
 
(A parallel of The Mother’s above experience is observed in Savitri and Isha Upanishad:-)   
“The great hammer-beats of a pent-up world-heart                        
Burst open the narrow dams that keep us safe                       
Against the forces of universe.” Savitri-83
 
            “The face of the Truth or the Supramental world is covered with a brilliant golden lid, that do thou remove, O Fosterer, for the law of the Truth, for sight.” Isha Upannishad-15
 
3rd July 1957: VISION OF IMMENSE HOTEL:
            "This vision took place early in the night and woke me up with a rather unpleasant feeling. It was a kind of an immense hotel where all the terrestrial possibilities were lodged in different apartments. And it was all in a constant state of transformation: parts or entire wings of the building were suddenly torn down and rebuilt while people were still living them in them, such that if you went off somewhere within the immense hotel itself, you ran the risk of no longer finding your room when you wanted to return to it, for it might have been torn down and was being rebuilt according to another plan! It was orderly, it was organised …yet there was this fantastic chaos which I mentioned…It went something like this: somewhere, in the centre of this enormous edifice, there was a room reserved—as it seemed in the story –for a mother and her daughter. The mother was a lady, an elderly lady, a very influential matron who had a great deal of authority and her own views concerning the entire organisation. Her daughter seemed to have a power of movement and activity enabling her to be everywhere at once while at the same time remaining in her room, which was…well, a bit more than a room—it was kind of apartment which, above all, had the characteristic of being very central. But she was constantly arguing with her mother. The mother wanted to keep things ‘just as they were,’ with their usual rhythm, which precisely  meant the habit of tearing down one thing to rebuild another, then again tearing down that to build still another, thus, giving the building an appearance  of frightful confusion. But the daughter did not like this, and she had another plan. Most of all, she wanted to bring something completely new into the organisation: a kind of super-organisation that would render all this confusion unnecessary. Finally, as it was impossible for them to reach an understanding, the daughter left the room to go on a kind of general inspection… She went out, looked everything over, and then wanted to return to her room to decide upon some final measures… She clearly remembered where her room was, but each time she set out to go there, either the staircase disappeared or things were so changed that she could no longer find her way! So she went here and there, up and down, searched, went in and out… but it was impossible to find the way to her room! Since all of this assumed a physical appearance, as is always the case in these symbolic visions—there was somewhere (how shall I put it?) the hotel’s administrative office and a woman who seemed to be the manager, who had all the keys and who knew where everyone was staying. So the daughter went to this person and asked her, ‘Could you show me the way to my room?’ –‘But of course! Easily!’ Everyone around the manager looked at her as if to say, ‘How can you say that?’ However, she got up, and with authority asked for a key –the key to the daughter’s room –saying, ‘I shall take you there.’ And off she went along all kinds of paths, but all so complicated, so bizarre! The daughter was following along behind her very attentively, you see, so as not to lose sight of her. But just as they should have come to the place where the daughter’s room was supposed to be, suddenly the manageress, both the manageress and her key...vanished! And the sense of this vanishing was so acute that...at the same time, everything vanished!
            So to help you understand this enigma, let me tell you that the mother is physical Nature as she is, and the daughter is the new creation. The manageress is the world’s organizing mental consciousness as Nature has developed it thus, far, that is, the most advanced organising sense to have manifested in the present state of material Nature. This is the key to the vision... the vanishing of the manageress and her key was obvious sign that she was altogether incapable of leading what could called ‘the creative consciousness of the new world’ to its true place."              
 
3rd FEBRUARY 1958: EXPERIENCE OF SUPRAMENTAL SHIP:
            "…I found myself upon an immense ship, which is the symbolic representation of the place where this work is being carried out. This ship, as big a city, is thoroughly organised, and it had certainly already been functioning for quite some time, for its organisation was fully developed. It is the place where people destined for the Supramental life are being trained. These people (or atleast a part of their being) had already undergone a Supramental transformation because the ship itself and all that was aboard was neither material nor subtle-physical, neither vital nor mental: it was a Supramental substance. This substance itself was of the most material Supramental, the Supramental substance nearest the physical world, the first to manifest. The light was a blend of red and gold, forming a uniform substance of luminous orange. Everything was like that—the light was like that, people were like that—everything had this colour, in varying shades, however, which enabled things to be distinguished from one another. The overall impression was of a shadowless world: there were shades, but no shadows. The atmosphere was full of joy, calm, order; everything worked smoothly and silently. At the same time, I could see all the details of education, the training in all domains by which people on the board were prepared…."
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
"A seeker of hidden meanings in life’s forms,
Of the great Mother’s wide uncharted will
And the rude enigma of her terrestrial ways
He is the explorer and the mariner 
On a secret inner ocean without bourne:
He is the adventurer and cosmologist
Of a magic earth’s obscure geography. " Savitri-69 
          
“A sailor on the Inconscient’s fathomless sea,           
He voyages through a starry world of thought            
On Matter’s deck to a spiritual sun.” Savitri-71
 
1st May 1958: DESCENT OF SUPRAMENTAL SUBSTANCE INTO MATTER:
            "The Divine has become the body. Impossible to have the least disorder in all the surrounding matter. Automatically every object around obeys: a divine harmony in everything. If that is established in a permanent way, there can no longer be illness or accident – all the objects of bathroom obeyed. It is Matter becoming the Divine. A thing happening first time upon earth."

(Similar experience in Savitri:-)
"Each final scheme leads to a sequel plan. 
Yet every new departure seems the last,
Inspired evangel, theory’s ultimate peak,
Proclaiming a panacea for all Time’s ills 
Or carrying thought in its ultimate zenith flight
And trumpeting supreme discovery; 
Each brief idea, a structure perishable,
Publishes the immortality of its rule, 
Its claim to be the perfect form of things,
Truth’s last epitome, Time’s golden best." Savitri-198

"“A fiery stillness wakes the slumbering cells, 
A passion of the flesh becoming spirit, 
And marvellously is fulfilled at last 
The miracle for which our life was made.” Savitri-278

 
1st October 1958: EXPERIENCE OF BEING THE SUPREME LORD:
            "Before, I always had the negative experience of the disappearance of the ego, of the oneness of Creation, where everything implying separation disappeared – an experience that, personally, I would call negative. Last Wednesday, while I was speaking (and that is why at the end I could no longer find my words), I seemed suddenly to have left this negative phenomenon and entered into the positive experience: the experience of BEING the Supreme Lord, the experience that nothing exists but the Supreme Lord –all is the Supreme Lord, there is nothing else. And at that moment, the feeling of this infinite power that has no limit, that nothing can limit, was so overwhelming that all the functions of the body, of this mental machine that summons up words, all this was…I could no longer speak French… For example, the volume of Force that was to be expressed in the voice was too great for the speech organ. So I had to be a little attentive—that is, there had to be a kind of filtering in the outermost expression, otherwise the voice would have cracked. But this is not done through the will and the reason, it’s automatic. Yet I feel that… the capacity of Matter to contain and express is increasing with phenomenal speed. But it’s progressive, it can’t be done instantly. There have often been people whose outer form broke because the Force was too strong; well, I clearly see that is being dosed out. After all, this is exclusively the concern of the Supreme Lord, I do not bother about it – it is not my concern and I do not bother about it—He makes the necessary adjustments. Thus, it comes progressively, little by little, so that no fundamental disequilibrium occurs. It gives the impression that one’s head is swelling so tremendously it will burst! But then if there is a moment of stillness, it adapts; gradually, it adapts."

"His nature grew a movement of the All,
Exploring itself to find that all was He,
His soul was a delegation of the All 
That turned from itself to join the one Supreme." Savitri-319
 
Evening of 7th November 1958: AN ALMIGHTY SPRING:
            "At the very bottom of the inconscience most hard and rigid I struck upon an almighty spring that cast me up forthwith into a formless, limitless vast, generator of all creation.
            I was descending into a crevasse between two steep rocks, rocks that appeared to be made of something harder than basalt, BLACK, but metallic at the same time, with such sharp edges—it seemed that a mere touch would lacerate you. It appeared endless and bottomless, and it kept getting narrower, narrower and narrower, narrower and narrower, like a funnel, so narrow that there was almost no more room –not even for the consciousness –to pass through. And the bottom was invisible, a black hole. And it went down, down, down, like that, without air, without light, except for a sort of glimmer that enabled me to make out the rock edges. They seemed to be cut so steeply, so sharply…
            And as soon as I had uttered, ‘What is there at the bottom of this hole?’ I seemed to touch a spring that was in the very depths—a spring I didn’t see but that acted instantly with a tremendous power –and it cast me up forthwith, hurled me out of this crevasse into… (arms extended, motionlessly) a formless, limitless vast, but it gave a feeling of ease and of an intimate warmth.
            And it was all-powerful, with an infinite richness. It did not have … no, it didn’t have any kind of form, and it had no limits (naturally, as I was identified with it I knew there was neither limit nor form). It was as if (because it was not visible), as if this vast were made of countless, imperceptible points –points that occupied no place in space (there was no sense of space), that were of a deep warm gold – but this is only a feeling, a transcription. And all this was absolutely LIVING, living with a power that seemed infinite. And yet motionless." 
 
(Similar experience in Savitri:-)
“His grasp surprised her mightiest energies’ spring;            
He spoke with the unknown Guardians of the worlds,            
Forms he descried our mortal eye sees not.” Savitri-44
           
“A living robot moved by her energy’s springs,            
He acts as in the movements of a dream,” Savitri-65
           
“This master-spring of a delicate enginery,            
Aspired to enlighten its user and refine            
Lifting to a vision of the indwelling Power            
The absorbed mechanic’s crude initiative:” Savitri-158
           
“Our springs are kept close hid beneath, within;            
Our souls are moved by powers behind the wall.” Savitri-161
 
Night of 24th and 25th July 1959: SUPRAMENTAL LIGHT ENTERED THROUGH FEET:
            First penetration of Supramental force into the body. Sri Aurobindo alive in a concrete and permanent subtle physical body. Supramental Light entered through feet.
            …For the first time the Supramental light entered directly through the feet (a red and gold colour—marvellous, warm, intense), and it climbed up and up. And as it climbed, the fever also climbed because the body was not accustomed to this intensity. As all this light neared the head, I thought I would burst and that the experience would have to be stopped. But then, I very clearly received the indication to make the Calm and Peace descend, to widen all this body-consciousness and all these cells, so that they could contain the Supramental light. So I widened, and as the light was ascending, I brought down the vastness and an unshakable peace. And suddenly there was a second of fainting.     
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
“Our life is entrenched between two rivers of Light,
We have turned space into a gulf of peace
And made the body a Capitol of bliss.” Savitri-531

“Two golden serpents round the lintel curled,                                    
Enveloping it with their pure and dreadful strength,                                    
Looked out with wisdom’s deep and luminous eyes.” Savitri-524                                 
                                 
“Two powers from one original ecstasy born…                                    
One leans to earth, the other yearns to the skies:” Savitri-684

“Assailed by my infinitudes above,                                    
And quivering in immensities below,…                                    
A swimmer lost between two leaping seas                                    
By my outer pains and inner sweetnesses                                    
Finding my joy in my opposite mysteries                                    
Thou shalt respond to me from every nerve.” Savitri-700

“Lain like an infant spirit unaware
Lulled on the verge of two consenting worlds.” Savitri-716
                       
29th February 1960: A GOLD KRISHNA:
            Fabulous experiences. A gold Krishna came. During the Darshan I was gone, perhaps everywhere: no more physical centre! Annul oneself so that the Supreme Lord may be.
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
“In a simple purity of emptiness
Her mind knelt down before the unknowable.” Savitri-522
​
“Consent to be nothing and none, dissolve Time’s work,                                   
Cast off thy mind, step back from form and name.
Annul thyself that only God may be.” Savitri-538
 
“Then even those stirrings rose in her (Savitri) no more;
Her mind now seemed like a vast empty room
Or like a peaceful landscape without sound.
This men call quietude and prize as peace.” Savitri-543
​
“An impersonal emptiness walked and spoke in her." Savitri-552
​
“Her divine emptiness was their (Savitri and Satyavan’s) instrument.” Savitri-553


24th May 1960: DISINTEGRATION OF PHYSICAL EGO:
            "For the first time, for approximately three hours, the physical ego disintegrated: the Sachchidananda spreading in a constant flood through the universe. Even the body consciousness was different. Something which was everything at once. No division. A variety of colours, vibrations, powers, and everything was within it. A universal vastness that kept going on and on… It moves and does not move. It was neither mysterious nor incomprehensible: it was absolutely obvious; though untranslatable. Contradictory things that nevertheless all existed simultaneously."
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
                                   
“Thus was she lost within to separate self;                                    
Her mortal ego perished in God’s night.                                    
Only a body was left, the ego’s shell                                    
Afloat mid drift and foam of the world-sea,                                    
A sea of dream watched by a motionless sense                                    
In a figure of unreal reality.” Savitri-552
                                   
“A greater Personality sometimes                                    
Possesses us which yet we know is ours:                                    
Or we adore the Master of our souls.                                    
Then the small bodily ego thins and falls;                                    
No more insisting on its separate self,                                    
Losing the punctilio of its separate birth,                                    
It leaves us one with Nature and with God.” Savitri-47
                                   
“The landmarks of the little person fell,
The island ego joined its continent.
Overpassed was this world of rigid limiting forms:
Life’s barriers opened into the Unknown.” Savitri-25
                                    
“Abolished is the burdening need of life                                    
Thought falls from us, we cease from joy and grief;                                    
The ego is dead; we are freed from being and care,                                    
We have done with birth and death and work and fate.” Savitri-310  
 
Night of 21st and 22nd January 1961: EXPERIENCE OF PRE VEDIC AGE OF PINK MARBLE BATHTUB:
 
            "It was a kind of artificial hurricane created by semi human beings. They created the storm to cut me off from ‘my home’. Material Mother Nature offering Mother ancient facilities (the pink marble bathtub)… Yes, I am disrupting their work –I know perfectly well that I am disrupting their domination of the world! All these vital beings have taken possession of the whole Matter, (The Mother touches her body) life and action –and have made it there domain, this is evident. But they are beings of lower vital, for they seemed artificial –they do not express any higher form, but an entire range of artificial mechanism, artificial will, artificial organisation, all deriving from their own imagination and not at all from a higher inspiration."

“Wherever love and light and largeness lack, 
These crooked fashioners take up their task. 
To all half-conscious worlds they extend their reign. 
Here too these godlings drive our human hearts, 
Our nature’s twilight is their lurking-place:” Savitri-153 

“Agents of darkness imitating light, 
Spirits obscure and moving things obscure,
Unwillingly they serve a mightier Power.” Savitri-162

"Against all higher truth their stuff rebels;
Only to Titan force their will lies prone.
Inordinate their hold on human hearts,
In all our nature’s turns they intervene.
Insignificant architects of low-built lives
And engineers of interest and desire, 
Out of crude earthiness and muddy thrills
And coarse reactions of material nerve 
They build our huddled structures of self-will
And the ill-lighted mansions of our thought,
Or with the ego’s factories and marts
Surround the beautiful temple of the soul. 
Artists minute of the hues of littleness,
They set the mosaic of our comedy 
Or plan the trivial tragedy of our days,
Arrange the deed, combine the circumstance
And the fantasia of the moods costume. 
These unwise prompters of man’s ignorant heart
And tutors of his stumbling speech and will,
Movers of petty wraths and lusts and hates 
And changeful thoughts and shallow emotion’s starts,
These slight illusion-makers with their masks,
Painters of the decor of a dull-hued stage 
And nimble scene-shifters of the human play,
Ever are busy with this ill-lit scene. 
Ourselves incapable to build our fate
Only as actors speak and strut our parts
Until the piece is done and we pass off
Into a brighter Time and subtler Space.
Thus they inflict their little pigmy law 
And curb the mounting slow uprise of man,
Then his too scanty walk with death they close." Savitri-163

 
Night of 23rd -24th January 1961: TOTAL PRESENCE OF SUPRAMENTAL FORCE IN THE BODY. REACTIVATION OF ENERGY CENTRES:
 
            I was not in trance. Then, lying flat, my entire body (but a slightly enlarged body, exceeding the purely physical form) became ONE vibration, extremely rapid and intense but immobile. I don’t know how to explain this, because it did not move in space but was a vibration (that is, it wasn’t motionless), yet it was motionless in space. And the exact form of my body was absolutely the most brilliant white Light of the supreme Consciousness, the consciousness of the Supreme. The whole body consciousness, without moving, without shifting began consciously to rise up towards the supreme Consciousness—and the junction was made. An absolutely awake junction, no trance. An eternity in the body. Then I began to come back down and realised that all the difficulty I had been fighting the other day and which had created this illness was absolutely ended, ANNULLED –mastered. Actually, it was not even mastery but the non existence of anything to be mastered: simply THE vibration from top to bottom; yet here was neither high nor low nor any direction. Then without moving this supreme Consciousness began to reactivate different centres. I saw with a new consciousness, a new vision and above all a new power –the entire Work. It was the power that was no longer the same! A truly essential change in the body: it will have to accustom itself to this new Power. It is the conscious and the total presence of the Supramental Force in the body. A feeling that a certain omnipotence is not far away. Still a long, long way to go, but the first step on the way has been taken.             
 
(A Similar experience in Savitri :-)                         

(Example of the Vedic descent of Shakti followed by the ascent of the Soul :-)
“The Power that from her being’s summit reigned,                                    
The Presence chambered in lotus secrecy,                                    
Came down and held the centre in her brow                                    
Where the mind’s Lord in his control-room sits;                                    
There throned on concentration’s native seat                                    
He opens that third mysterious eye in man,                                    
The Unseen’s eye that looks at the unseen,                                    
When Light with a golden ecstasy fills his brain                                    
And the Eternal’s wisdom drives his choice                                    
And eternal Will seizes the mortal’s will.                                    
It stirred in the lotus of her throat of song,                                    
And in her speech throbbed the immortal Word,                                    
Her life sounded with the steps of the world-soul                                    
Moving in harmony with the cosmic Thought.                                    
As glides God’s sun into the mystic cave                                    
Where hides his light from the pursuing gods,                                    
It glided into the lotus of her heart                                    
And woke in it the Force that alters Fate.                                    
It poured into her navel’s lotus depth,                                    
Lodged in the little life-nature’s narrow home,                                    
On the body’s longings grew heaven-rapture’s flower                                   
And made desire a pure celestial flame,                                    
Broke into the cave where coiled World-Energy sleeps                                    
And smote the thousand-hooded serpent Force                                    
That blazing towered and clasped the World-Self above,                                    
Joined Matter’s dumbness to the Spirit’s hush                                    
And filled earth’s acts with the Spirit’s silent power.” Savitri-665

(Example of the Vedantic ascent Soul followed by the descent of Shakti:-)
                                   
“Out of the Inconscient’s soulless mindless night                                    
A flaming Serpent rose released from sleep.                                    
It rose billowing its coils and stood erect                                    
And climbing mightily, stormily on its way                                    
It touched her centres with its flaming mouth;                                    
As if a fiery kiss had broken their sleep,                                    
They bloomed and laughed surcharged with light and bliss.                                    
Then at the crown it joined the Eternal’s space.                                    
In the flower of the head, in the flower of Matter’s base,...                                    
In the country of the lotus of the head                                    
Which thinking mind has made its busy space,                                    
In the castle of the lotus twixt the brows                                   
Whence it shoots the arrows of its sight and will,                                    
In the passage of the lotus of the throat                                    
Where speech must rise and the expressing mind                                    
And the heart’s impulse run towards word and act...                                    
In the kingdom of the lotus of the heart                                    
Love chanting its pure hymeneal hymn                                    
Made life and body mirrors of sacred joy                                    
And all emotions gave themselves to God.                                    
In the navel lotus’ broad imperial range                                    
Its proud ambitions and its master lusts                                    
Were tamed into instruments of a great calm sway                                    
To do a work of god in earthly soil.                                    
In the narrow nether centre’s petty parts                                    
Its childish game of daily dwarf desires                                    
Was changed into a sweet and boisterous play,                                    
A romp of little gods with life in Time.” Savitri-528-30   
 
1st June 1961: THE EXPERIENCE OF CRYSTALINE OR MUDDY RIVER:
            Both were together, like two rooms. It was enough to say, “I want to go there.” This interference of “big brother” who wanted to cross the water by his own method: the water grows muddy again. The “big brother” –the physical mind.  A crystal clear, imperative will: “I want to go there.”
 
(A Similar experience in Savitri :-)
                                    “Heaven’s flaming lights descend and back return,
                                    The luminous Eye approaches and retires;
                                    Eternity speaks, none understands its word;
                                    Fate is unwilling and the abyss denies;
                                    The Inconscient’s mindless waters block all done.” Savitri-371

15th July 1961, SUPRAMENTAL TRANSFORMATION:
              “It is very easy to be a saint! Oh, even to be a sage is very easy. I feel I was born with it—it is spontaneous and natural for me… but Supramental transformation is another thing altogether, oh!… No one has ever followed that path; Sri Aurobindo was the first, and He left before telling us what He was doing, I am literally carving out a trail through the virgin forest—worse than a virgin forest…I am given the awareness of how huge this thing is one drop at a time…so I won’t be crushed (or ‘Light conquered now even by that feeble beam:’ Savitri-601). It has reached a point where all Spiritual life, all those people and races that have tried since the beginning of the earth, all that seems like nothing, like child’s play in comparison. And it is a work without glory: you have no results, no experiences filling you with ecstasy or joy—none of that, it is a hideous labour.”

(A Similar experience in Savitri :-)

"A last and mightiest transformation came.                                   
His soul was all in front like a great sea                                    
Flooding the mind and body with its waves;                                    
His being, spread to embrace the universe,                                    
United the within and the without                                    
To make of life a cosmic harmony,                                    
An empire of immanent Divine.                                    
In this tremendous universality                                    
Not only his soul-nature and mind-sense                                    
Included every soul and mind in his,                                    
But even the life of flesh and nerve was changed                                    
And grew one flesh and nerve with all that lives;                                    
He felt the joy of others as his joy,                                    
He bore the grief of others as his grief;                                    
His universal sympathy upbore,                                    
Immense like ocean, the creation’s load                                    
As earth upbears all beings’ sacrifice,                                    
Thrilled with the hidden Transcendent’s joy and peace.                                    
There was no more division’s endless scroll;                                    
One grew the Spirit’s secret unity,                                    
All Nature felt again the single bliss." Savitri-318-19

"A mighty transformation came on her.
A halo of the indwelling Deity,
The Immortal’s lustre that had lit her face
And tented its radiance in her body’s house,
Overflowing made the air a luminous sea.
In a flaming moment of apocalypse
The Incarnation thrust aside its veil.
A little figure in infinity
Yet stood and seemed the Eternal’s very house,
As if the world’s centre was her very soul 
And all wide space was but its outer robe." Savitri-664-665

Night of 2nd -3rd April 1962: THE FIRST TURNING POINT LEADING TO TOTAL CARDIAC ARREST:
 
            "Just between eleven and twelve [last night] I had an experience by which I discovered that there is a group of people – purposely their identity was not revealed to me – wanting to create a kind of religion based on the revelation of Sri Aurobindo. But they have taken only the side of power and force, a certain kind of knowledge and all which could be utilized by Asuric forces. There is a big Asuric being that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo. It is only an appearance. This appearance of Sri Aurobindo has declared to me that the work I am doing is not his. It has declared that I have been a traitor to him and to his work and has refused to have anything to do with me...  What the Asuric Force that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo (and with whole group organised around him—people, ceremonies and so on) will create is a new religion or thought, perhaps cruel and merciless, in the name of the Supramental Realisation. But everybody must know that it is not true, it is not Sri Aurobindo’s teaching, not the truth of his teaching. The truth of Sri Aurobindo is a truth of love and light and mercy. He is good and great and compassionate and divine. And He will have the final victory.” The Mother-03.04.62         

"…A group of people wanting to create a new religion based on the revelation of Sri Aurobindo. A big Asuric being has taken the appearance of Sri Aurobindo and declared that I have been a traitor to his work –I did not reject it, because of the infinity of Sri Aurobindo. Vision of true Sri Aurobindo: he showed me that still he was not master of the physical realm. This group of people has wanted to take my life several times, they would like me dead: as long I am in a body upon Earth their purpose cannot succeed… I am no more in my body. Now is the last fight. If the body has to be dissolved, humanity will pass through a critical time. This Asuric force will create a new religion, cruel and merciless. The truth of Sri Aurobindo is a truth of love and light and mercy. And he will have the final victory."

“Only it is perfectly true that to deal with those realms (of subtle planes) one must be fully protected by a guru, a real guru, a man with knowledge, or else have purity (not saintliness), an unmixed vital and mental purity. Very, very often, bhaktas (devotees) of Sri Aurobindo or me—when they are sincere, truly sincere, that is, people of great spiritual purity –have dozens of beings appear to them, saying, “I am Sri Aurobindo.” It happens all the time, with all the right external appearances –it is very easy for such beings to put on a disguise. It takes the inner psychic purity not to be deceived –you invariably FEEL something that makes it impossible for you to be duped.” The Mother, 11th March 1962
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
                                    “This evil Nature is housed in human hearts,
                                    A foreign inhabitant, a dangerous guest:
                                    The soul that harbours it it can dislodge,
                                    Expel the householder, possess the house.
                                    An opposite potency contradicting God,
                                    A momentary Evil’s almightiness
                                    Has straddled the straight path of Nature’s acts.
                                    It imitates the Godhead it denies,
                                    Puts on his figure and assumes his face.
                                    A Manichean creator and destroyer,
                                    This can abolish man, annul his world.
                                    But there is a guardian power, there are Hands that save,
                                    Calm eyes divine regard the human scene.” Savitri-482

(Similar Experience in The Life Divine :-)
            “It is possible to receive help or guidance or harm or misguidance from these beings; it is possible even to become subject to their influence, to be possessed by their invasion or domination, to be instrumentalised by them for their good or evil purpose. At times the progress of earthly life seems to be a vast field of battle between supraphysical Forces of either character, those that strive to uplift, encourage and illumine and those that strive to deflect, depress or prevent or even shatter our upward evolution or the soul’s self-expression in the material universe. Some of these Beings, Powers or Forces are such that we think of them as divine; they are luminous, benignant or powerfully helpful: there are others that are Titanic, gigantic or demoniac, inordinate Influences, instigators or creators often of vast and formidable inner upheavals or of actions that overpass the normal human measure. There may also be an awareness of influences, presences, beings that do not seem to belong to other worlds beyond us but are here as a hidden element behind the veil in terrestrial nature.” CWSA-22/The Life Divine/p-806
 
            “In entering within one may find oneself amidst a chaos of unfamiliar and supernormal experiences to which one has not the key or a press of subliminal or cosmic forces, subconscient, mental, vital, subtle physical, which may unduly sway or chaotically drive the being, encircle it in a cave of darkness, or keep it wandering in a wilderness of glamour, allurement, deception, or push it into an obscure battlefield full of secret and treacherous and misleading or open and violent oppositions; beings and voices and influences may appear to the inner sense and vision and hearing claiming to be the Divine Being or His messengers or Powers and Godheads of the Light or guides of the path to realisation, while in truth they are of a very different character. If there is too much egoism in the nature of the seeker or a strong passion or an excessive ambition, vanity or other dominating weakness, or a obscurity of the mind or a vacillating will or a weakness of the life-force or an unsteadiness in it or want of balance, he is likely to be seized on through these deficiencies and to be frustrated or to deviate, misled from the true way of the inner life and seeking into false paths, or to be left wandering about in an intermediate chaos of experiences and fail to find his way out into the true realisation. These perils were well-known to a past spiritual experience and have been met by imposing the necessity of initiation, of discipline, of methods of purification and testing by ordeal, of an entire submission to the directions of the path finder or path-leader, one who has realised the Truth and himself possesses and is able to communicate the light, the experience, a guide who is strong to take by the hand and carry over the difficult passages as well as to instruct and point out the way. But even so the dangers will be there and can only be surmounted if there is or there grows up a complete sincerity, a will to purify, a readiness for obedience to the Truth, for surrender to the Highest, a readiness to lose or to subject to a divine yoke the limiting and self-affirming ego. These things are the sign that the true will for realisation, for conversion of the consciousness, for transformation is there, the necessary stage of the evolution has been reached: in that condition the defects of nature which belong to the human being cannot be a permanent obstacle to the change from the mental to the spiritual status; the process may never be entirely easy, but the way will have been made open and practicable.” CWSA-22/The Life Divine/p-938-39

(Similar Experience in The Synthesis of Yoga :-)
             "If the egoism of the worker disappears, the egoism of the instrument may replace it or else prolong it in a disguise. The life of the world has been full of instances of egoism of this kind and it can be more engrossing and enormous than any other; there is the same danger in Yoga. A man becomes a leader of men or eminent in a large or lesser circle and feels himself full of a power that he knows to be beyond his own ego-force; he may be aware of a Fate acting through him or a Will mysterious and unfathomable or a Light within of great brilliance. There are extraordinary results of his thoughts, his actions or his creative genius. He effects some tremendous destruction that clears the path for humanity or some great construction that becomes its momentary resting-place. He is a scourge or he is a bringer of light and healing, a creator of beauty or a messenger of knowledge. Or, if his work and its effects are on a lesser scale and have a limited field, still they are attended by the strong sense that he is an instrument and chosen for his mission or his labour. Men who have this destiny and these powers come easily to believe and declare themselves to be mere instruments in the hand of God or of Fate: but even in the declaration we can see that there can intrude or take refuge an intenser and more exaggerated egoism than ordinary men have the courage to assert or the strength to house within them. And often if men of this kind speak of God, it is to erect an image of him which is really nothing but a huge shadow of themselves or their own nature, a sustaining Deific Essence of their own type of will and thought and quality and force. This magnified image of their ego is the Master whom they serve. This happens only too often in Yoga to strong but crude vital natures or minds too easily exalted when they allow ambition, pride or the desire of greatness to enter into their spiritual seeking and vitiate its purity of motive; a magnified ego stands between them and their true being and grasps for its own personal purpose the strength from a greater unseen Power, divine or undivine, acting through them of which they become vaguely or intensely aware. An intellectual perception or vital sense of a Force greater than ours and of ourselves as moved by it is not sufficient to liberate from the ego." CWSA-23/The Synthesis of Yoga/p-248-249
           
            "This perception, this sense of a greater Power in us or above and moving us, is not a hallucination or a megalomania. Those who thus feel and see have a larger sight than ordinary men and have advanced a step beyond the limited physical intelligence, but theirs is not the plenary vision or the direct experience. For, because they are not clear in mind and aware in the soul, because their awakening is more in the vital parts than into the spiritual substance of Self, they cannot be the conscious instruments of the Divine or come face to face with the Master, but are used through their fallible and imperfect nature. The most they see of the Divinity is a Fate or a cosmic Force or else they give his name to a limited Godhead or, worse, to a Titanic or demoniac Power that veils him. Even certain religious founders have erected the image of the God of a sect or a national God or a Power of terror and punishment or a Numen of sattwic love and mercy and virtue and seem not to have seen the One and Eternal. The Divine accepts the image they make of him and does his work in them through that medium, but, since the one Force is felt and acts in their imperfect nature but more intensely than in others, the motive principle of egoism too can be more intense in them than in others. An exalted rajasic or sattwic ego still holds them and stands between them and the integral Truth. Even this is something, a beginning, although far from the true and perfect experience. A much worse thing may befall those who break something of the human bonds but have not purity and have not the knowledge, for they may become instruments, but not of the Divine; too often, using his name, they serve unconsciously his Masks and black Contraries, the Powers of Darkness." CWSA-23/The Synthesis of Yoga/p-249-250
 
Night of 12th -13th April 1962: THE MANIFESTATION OF SUPREME LOVE:
            Suddenly in the night (of April 12-13, the experience lasted at least four hours) I woke up with the full awareness of what we could call the Yoga of the world. The Supreme Love was manifesting through big pulsations, and each pulsation was bringing the world further in its manifestation. It was the formidable pulsations of the eternal, stupendous Love, only Love: each pulsation of Love carrying the universe further in its manifestation.
And the certitude that what is to be done is done and the Supramental Manifestation is realised… All the results of the Falsehood had disappeared: Death was an illusion, Sickness was an illusion, Ignorance was an illusion—something that had no reality, no existence... Only Love, and Love, and Love, and Love –immense, formidable, stupendous, carrying everything.
            But then it came: “You have accepted that this world should know the Supramental Truth,... and it will be expressed totally, integrally.” Yes, yes …And the thing is DONE. 
 
(Similar experience in Savitri :-)
“A strong Descent leaped down. A Might, a Flame,                                    
A Beauty half-visible with deathless eyes,                                    
A violent ecstasy, a Sweetness dire,                                    
Enveloped him with its stupendous limbs                                    
And penetrated nerve and heart and brain                                    
That thrilled and fainted with epiphany:                                    
His nature shuddered in the Unknown’s grasp.                                    
In a moment shorter than death, longer than Time,                                    
By a Power more ruthless than love, happier than Heaven,                                    
Taken sovereignly into eternal arms,                                    
Haled and coerced by a stark absolute bliss,                                    
In a whirlwind circuit of delight and force                                    
Hurried into unimaginable depths,                                    
Upborne into immeasurable heights,                                    
It was torn out from its mortality                                    
And underwent a new and bourneless change.” Savitri-81
 
15th August 1962: SRI AUROBINDO SITTING UPON ASHRAM COMPOUND:
            "Sri Aurobindo sitting upon the Ashram, upon the Ashram compound I felt the friction of this presence in subtle physical. A sense of absoluteness, as if all were fulfilled. The most beautiful August-15 we had ever had. All his power was there, far stronger and clearer than when he was in his body!          
            I always had that same impression – it was always like that in his room; and I would always have that impression whenever I met him. And even when I was working, all the while I would feel him behind me, doing everything. But this was much stronger. Much stronger. It was ... one was caught up and there was no way to get out of it. That's how it was – something ABSOLUTE.  
            I've asked no one, I've told no one, I haven't said anything about it, not a word; you're the first. When Pavitra came yesterday I smilingly asked him if he'd had a good meditation, that's all. He said yes. So I told him, "Well, Sri Aurobindo was sitting on you!" (Mother laughs) "I was sitting below, in Sri Aurobindo's room," he replied. "He was there too!" I said (Mother laughs)."

"A Presence wrought behind the ambiguous screen:
It beat his soil to bear a Titan’s weight, 
Refining half-hewn blocks of natural strength
It built his soul into a statued god. 
The Craftsman of the magic stuff of self
Who labours at his high and difficult plan
In the wide workshop of the wonderful world,
Modelled in inward Time his rhythmic parts.
Then came the abrupt transcendent miracle: 
The masked immaculate Grandeur could outline,
At travail in the occult womb of life, 
His dreamed magnificence of things to be.
A crown of the architecture of the worlds,
A mystery of married Earth and Heaven
Annexed divinity to the mortal scheme." Savitri-25

"A vision lightened on the viewless heights,
A wisdom illumined from the voiceless depths:
A deeper interpretation greatened Truth,
A grand reversal of the Night and Day;
All the world’s values changed heightening life’s aim;
A wiser word, a larger thought came in 
Than what the slow labour of human mind can bring,
A secret sense awoke that could perceive 
A Presence and a Greatness everywhere." Savitri-42
 
24th November 1962: A CUBE OF CONCENTRATED WHITE LIGHT:
            "…an immensity of light, like gold becoming white by its intensity, absolutely immobile, containing an infinite Power. At the centre of that immensity: a cube of concentrated white light, tremendously active, and all that immensity converged there without moving. A cube enveloped in pale gray tulle expressing perfect humility that abolishes the ego. The cube represented my physical being and through it I could discern all the action being done for the whole earth. Things from the past and things far into the future. At the moment, it was nothing but Sat: an immobile existence. An absolute certainty that things are like that, although the appearances may seem altogether different. The gray tulle, like the little wild grass I have named “Humility.” I said to myself, “That is why I named it Humility!” And the sense of the separate bodily form had completely vanished. And it was ONE moment of the Manifestation. All we see, think, understand was nothing, unsubstantial, but THAT! …The body feels how artificial all life’s complications and problems are, how different it could be! There are just bad habits, fading away, losing their force, becoming more and more unreal. Like a machine that takes time to run down. In the other consciousness everything is so obvious: that is IT. It is not something you are looking at: it’s like that. All life’s misfortunes: a bad habit—the time has come to change habits… Still in a transitional period when the true thing is getting established but the tail of the old thing trails behind. The habit of not understanding something unless it can be mentally explained is disastrous. To live THAT spontaneously, all the time, how wonderful it would be!"

"In the wide signless ether of the Self,
In the unchanging Silence white and nude,
Aloof, resplendent like gold dazzling suns
Veiled by the ray no mortal eye can bear,
The Spirit’s bare and absolute potencies
Burn in the solitude of the thoughts of God." Savitri-57

"A formless Stillness called, a nameless Light.
Above him was the white immobile Ray,
Around him the eternal Silences.
No term was fixed to the high-pitched attempt;
World after world disclosed its guarded powers,
Heaven after heaven its deep beatitudes,
But still the invisible Magnet drew his soul." Savitri-102
 
6th June, 1963: EXPERIENCE OF SUPRAMENTAL POWER:
            "In the night of 6th, for three hours, everything was at a standstill: only the sensation of a stupendous Force. It was spherical. It was going out in innumerable directions. An incalculable mass. I suppose that if the mind had been associated with the experience, it would have gone mad! But there was in the physical centre an ecstasy that sparkled like a diamond to reassure the body: “Don’t be afraid, don’t worry.” Only universal forces in action, and a sparkling, ecstatic point in that immensity. It is the first time: it was everywhere at the same time. It was something happening for the earth (the earth was very small). And no psychological perception (peace, love, knowledge etc.): a pure vibratory sensation on a colossal scale. When I woke up, my head felt inordinately swollen –but the clear-headedness is the same as ever."
 
(Similar experience in Savitri:-)

"Then kindling the gold tongue of sacrifice,
Calling the powers of a bright hemisphere
We shall shed the discredit of our mortal state,
Make the abysm a road for Heaven’s descent, (The gulf between Supreme Self and Inconscient Self is bridged)
Acquaint our depths with the supernal Ray
And cleave the darkness with the mystic Fire." Savitri-171-172
                                   
“This independent, once a power supreme,                                    
Self-born before the universe was made,                                    
Accepting cosmos, binds himself Nature’s serf                                    
Till he becomes her freedom – or God’s slave.” Savitri-542

9th December 1963: THE BATTLE IN THE SUBCONSCIENT:
            On December 9, a frightful battle in the Subconscient, like a return of the 1958 attack: the same origin of forces. It went on during the meditation. It stops the heart, so it was unpleasant.
Q:-      Was there no human instrument?
            No, but plenty of spots to which that force clings: it clings to certain tendencies, attitudes, reactions.
            During the meditation: a grating in the cells. A very aggressive ill will which belongs to a dark age… A victory of that very black force over the one that tries to follow more harmonious paths…
 
(Similar experience in Savitri:-) 

"All came back to her: Earth and Love and Doom,
The ancient disputants, encircled her 
Like giant figures wrestling in the night:
The godheads from the dim Inconscient born
Awoke to struggle and the pang divine,
And in the shadow of her flaming heart,
At the sombre centre of the dire debate,
A guardian of the unconsoled abyss
Inheriting the long agony of the globe, 
A stone-still figure of high and godlike Pain
Stared into Space with fixed regardless eyes
That saw grief’s timeless depths but not life’s goal." Savitri-9-10
                                  
“He saw the city of ancient Ignorance                                    
Founded upon a soil that knew not Light.                                    
There each in his own darkness walked alone:                                    
Only they agreed to differ in Evil’s paths,                                    
To live in their own way for their own selves                                    
Or to enforce a common lie or wrong;                                    
There Ego was lord upon his peacock seat                                    
And Falsehood sat by him, his mate and queen:                                    
The world turned to them as Heaven to Truth and God.” Savitri-208-209